i don't like sucking hair
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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