i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
