ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
