found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
