dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think my vagina is haunted
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
