chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
