I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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