Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
