Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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