the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am naked and annoyed.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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