how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
