I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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