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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Can I color on your dick again?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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