remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
