a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
