If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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