I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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