:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
