Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We left the knife in your bed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i out mim tonsoeep
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
