She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
