did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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