Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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