Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
