that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
