You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
