Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
one two three fourrrrnication!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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