how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
