Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
