do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
