oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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