just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
