New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
