if you like me you must not know who I am
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
