That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
