She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
