check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
