So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
