What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
