trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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