her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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