I'm so fucking centered right now
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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