"it" just moved
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
