Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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