I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
