I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
