Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
