David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
wow bdsm is so cute
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
