This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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