would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
