I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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