Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're a waste of cheezeits
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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